Your new life will cost your old life and not everybody is willing to pay that price...
Let that sentence sink in…
Because this is perhaps the biggest reason why people find change difficult to embrace. Mentally you might want to change your habits, your environment or your work. But thinking about change is not the same as DOING the work to create the change in your life.
One of the mindset barriers is the comfortable life you have to give up and step into the unknown adventure. We don’t know what the price is of saying goodbye to your old life and we don’t have any guarantees that your new life will bring you what you desire. Nobody knows the future. And nobody can tell you what the price will be of your new life. What things you have to give up from your comfort zone? Which people you have to let go? What kind of benefits disappear?
Take for example stepping into a new job if you have been with an employer for a long time. You are frustrated in your current job, but you also know what you have. And the fear of the unknown is greater than the will to give up your security what you have now in your comfort zone. Maybe in your new job your travel time is better. But perhaps you will think you will miss your old colleagues if you would change jobs. And if you do decide to change jobs, perhaps you begin to doubt yourself if you made the right choice.
After all, jumping into the unknown comes with a price. You give up what you know, in exchange for the unknown. And of course you hope for the best, but the reality is often that it is not without its challenges. In the long term you may look back and reflect that it was the right move. But if you’re in the middle of “the storm of change” it can sometimes feel overwhelming and isn’t as fun as you hoped it would be. Be careful what you wish for…It might actually be happening!
Past experiences that are mentally projected on new situations also make you feel less open-minded about plunging into a new adventure. Like moving to another city, for example. As a student you looked forward to the adventure of getting to know a new environment. Once you are settled in a city and have built a new circle of friends you don’t just move without a good reason. Often that reason is love, a new job or family.
Or in my case a housing crisis that prevented me from buying a house in the city that I already lived a decade in. No matter how frustrating your reasons for change are, really thinking out of the box to turn your life around is going too far for most people. Because yes, you know what you have now. Even though you are sitting unhappily in your far too expensive not so nice rental apartment. So I completely understand the doubt, I’ve been there.
So most people stay in their comfort zone and don’t dare to change. They’d rather be unhappy, frustrated and uncomfortable in their current situation than that they are motivated enough and have the guts to make different choices in their lives. Not many people dare to leave their comfort zone to moving to another city. Or break off a relationship that actually isn’t a healthy and loving relationship. Most people are driven by fear and rather feel bitter then to actually take the steering wheel and create change in their world. And perhaps complain a lot about their life and situation or blame others for how their life has turned out.
And there is a good reason for fear. Most people are driven by fear and it’s not strange. Fear is actually very useful for our survival.
That brings me to another factor that is build into our system to prevent the changes that our hearts desire: our survival mechanism. Our mind is tasked with keeping us save. At least that is what it thinks it should do. Every time you try to install a new habit or adjust your course in life your inner critic is right there with you. Your mind will try to convince you to stay in your comfort zone with inner dialogue like “Are you sure”? “Don’t you like knowing what you already have?” “Why would you give up everything you worked so hard for”? “Who are you to think you can actually pull this off?”.
Our inner critic will be the first to tell you that it is a really bad idea to step into the unknown. We all learn in our childhood that it is safer to be part of the group. That it is better to not stick your head out. It’s better to model your behavior to what the flock is doing than to be the odd one.
This conditioning is preventing you to take bold action and chase after your dreams. Your new life will cost you your old life and not everyone is willing to pay that price…
My motto is still ‘It’s better to regret what you did than what you didn’t do’. Because you also know that stepping outside your comfort zone brings you growth. A new adventure can bring you a lot, but what exactly nobody knows.
Because no one has a crystal ball. 🔮
So live up to your expectations! Whether your dreams come true, you will only find out if you get moving. If you dare to jump. If you are willing to pay the price for change. You always sacrifice something, and often you get something better in return. Though you may get something you couldn’t have imagined in your wildest dreams.
If you want to use a tool in this process of change there is an element in the Human Design system that can really help you with eliminating the doubts about change. And that is following your strategy & inner authority. On your Human Design chart you can find your strategy and inner authority written at the top of the page. If you don’t have your Human Design chart yet, here you can download your chart for free.
There are a lot of resources available about strategy & inner authority online, via podcasts and in books. If you want to save time and don’t do the research yourself, order your personal ebook. For my clients I create a 120+ page ebook with all the ins & outs about your personal Human Design chart.
I wish you a lot of wisdom and courage to step outside your comfort zone. And I hope you learn to minimize the impact of your inner critic so you do start chasing your goals and dreams.